madness...of love and life...

being a woman in man's world..
sometimes i'm mad for him..
sometimes he's mad at me...
somedays i make him mad...
sometimes i'm mad upon him...
all this madness add up to magic
to create a tradition called love....
its magical madness of life.

You hanged on and waited for her to change her mind
even if you knew that it’s not going to happen…
but a little part of you just keeps holding on.
But you know that by doing this
she is killing her as much as it’s hurting you
but she won’t admit that...
so maybe, you should be the one strong enough to walk away?

Leaving a Time...

Leaving is never easy..
But there comes a time..
Time to leave your childhood
Time to leave a broken love
Time to leave your past.....
Time to leave memories behind
Time to move on..
Even if you cant see the road ahead 
Even if you cant take a step forward
Even if you feel too alone to walk
Even if you feel too scared to dream
because sometimes............
staying back isn't an option...

time frame...

she regretted his loss of herself n her love..
she kept her patience every time sincerely by heart ,by mind..coz she always wanted to b beside hin forever..but he didnt wanted to b with her anymore..he didnt want to communicate with her coz even her voice stressed him whtever she may say.he told her tht she didnt stood by him in his difficult times..n didnt understood him at any level.n he felt bondage to the relationship....
I remember the visions of the day when he felt that he is completely in love with her.when he wanted her near always..when he wanted to do every little thing for her tht wud make her smile or giggle.now he feels tortured by her presence in his life...she is still the same girl for whom he professed his love so deeply n sweetly but now she happens to an unloved by him..he feels indifferent to her..to add insult to injury he remains incommunicado to her messages n questions...
After listening her ..i asked her,"did she try enough?.."did her love changed for him in difficult times?did she change for him?y doesnt she fight back instead of going away?y she tried to win him back after all the injuries n insults?.does she still love him?.....
She looked at me and her answer left me speechless..and thinking....
She firmly believed that time is never difficult but whn our priorities change..circumstances change n so do feelings..for our relationships..bondage is in every relationship....bondage of love n care so ur bonded to do certain things..out of love ..not by slavery...bondage to keep in touch affirms the secure soothing presence of ur loved one...coz u care for each other...
she nvr told him that patience was her forte still she learned .... but the more she kept it ..the more he tested n expected ..it isnt difficult to spare any form of communication if u really want to b a part of someone life...its not tht he doesnt hav time to communicate but its not wht he wants to do..to b in touch with her life or give her the right to b in touch with his life..so hes indifferent...and unresponsive...
u fall in luv by destiny but u fall out of love by choice..destiny jst plans n brings u closer to someone and then you carry the things forward by your choices n priorities ..how cud you know about someone's difficulties who's inaccessible?how cud you support and soothe someone who doesnt want you near and in his life?
By fighting back she may get him but thts not wht wud b right tht wud b really bondage not bonding...he had to...he has to come back on his own before time runs out for both of them.... he has to find his confidence back to call her back by himself....if he really wants to do that...cz . she tried to save this relationship every time with new energy n enthusiam but every time things collaspsed after few days coz he was nvr part of it...coz of his diversions he doesnt want her in his life...he did everything tht cud b done to hurt the relationship n her...
She knew things are over for them early on in difficult times ..but still a twinkling star far away in the sky didnt let her go hopeless for them....one day he swept her off her  feet in love and now he swept her off out of his life....so she's walking away coz staying back isnt an option..
.she doesnt regret trusting him...n sharing her life with him..however time bound it had been..and she doesnt regret or deny anything said to him in love n anger....coz being with him was neither her weakness nor a constraint ....and she's thankful for all the times and moods --shared and unshared...
And she walked away with her gaze still at her empty hands n i stood there spellbound thinking ....does luv change this way?.that can anger b so  bigger than the love so as to let your luv go out of your life??y do ppl need many attempts to start afresh? y not resolve at first attempt?y cant b things solved before relationships n feelings die?y dnt ppl understand tht u cant b stubborn  in love?...
she walked away with a dead hope in her heart for him and leaving me alone to search for answers.......
i felt her pain of being broken..
i regretted his loss of her love....
Her last words echoed in my mind as I saw her leaving looking at her open n empty hands.."you cant ever n never want to..fall out of luv with the man ..you once loved..you were with him coz he was worthy of being in your life..now tht if he's not with you ..it doesnt mean he's unworthy n undeserving ..its jst tht priorities changed..so do feelings..its jst tht now he's not with you......and the time remains framed n memories etched on the core of your soul...so tht luv gets buried deep inside you"

the truth...

truth is subjective..to a particular time frame..it is eternal but limits itself to a time frame.....it remains the same itself but changes with time..something said today is true today with today's limitations n purpose n relationships..but after a while the truth remains true... subjective to that time frame only..and with change it changes cz we come out of that time frame..we move on with our life leaving behind tht truth into our past...sometimes it gets buried forever  and sometimes it may catch up with you in future...in future it may or may not seem relevant ..it doesnt go untrue but it remains bonded to that time frame...so if you feel something today say it today..put things in words..nvr trust  someone else imagination..to know the truth in your heart n mind...if you care today ..if you love today..say it in words..nvr let ur anger or annoyance take over your feelings of love n care...coz u may not get another chance ..life may move on..time may move on..your truth may get trapped in some time frame....

ride of life..

life has been a roller coaster ride these days n she's coming to terms..with life's facts n findings n herself...
her conflicts n wishes..n solutions...and the real truth..however bitter it may seem n the walk of life ahead....

all the years of care n love gone unacknowledged..the craving of holding the little one ..the pain of being broken...the bitter reality staring her  in face...life didnt prepare her for this moment..in fact .life doesnt prepare oneself in advance for anything..nor the happiness or the pain....
She's left yearning n craving for ur loss...her little world crashed in front of her like a castle of cards coming down after painfully building upto the top but forgetting about the attack of wind..her little world crashed.....she found everything ..n thn lost everything....in one moment.....she saw a tear at the corner of her eye...she closed her eyes before she fells down...
But he saw it before tht moment and he told her tht he wud b with ever forever after..she saw a twinkle in her smile cz in her heart she always knew tht with him beside her,she will always hav the strength to accept the truth,she  nvr had an iota of doubt abt his  soothing and un-dwindling presence of him in her life.. .however all the other things in her world may go wrong...

vandy's mantra 6....

----someone asked me,"how do u hav perfect wedded life?"my answer-"neither a person nor a wedding is perfect in its own being...but accepting the little quirks n imperfections n falling in love with thm..not wishing n wanting to change thm..
makes a life n wedding PERFECT"

-----y do ppl mantra abt weight issue is always ..thy gain a lot(even if its 2 kg)..and whn they lose ..thy lose so little(even if its 10 kg)...hw much it look both ways.persona doesnt lie in weight ..persona lies in the positive aura tht u behold n tht radiates from mind....

----it takes a man to make a woman feel beautiful,to make her feel loved n cherished,to make her feel complete..being a woman isnt jst abt being the female gender but to b in sync with the male gender so tht the circle tht the god created can b complete ..

----traffic jams or petrol pump queue's-i like them..cz thy give a chance to do text msg .n ckh out lists of to do notes...or make mental notes of schedules....n if jam is too long someday i wud prefer to read on some story...traffic jams give u a chance to practice patience n  learning calmness in emergencies..n learn not to panic about anything except life n death situations...

----women day ..the word women itself says..wo(w)-men..so its not jst celebration of being women..its celebration of being cherished loved protected cared n blessed being with men..women are men are extension of each other ...n together a complete one..cheers

-----my kid asked me,whts magic...is it real or illusion...i thought over n answered him back this.."magic is not abt creating illusionary things which seem real..instead i believe magic is abt creating real smiles..which arent illusions..

---khusyion ki talash me door talak dekhti hamari nazar aksar pass se guzrati chooti chooti khusyion ko dekhne se hatt jati hai...live ur soul with transparency in every moment..b answerable to urself only for every moment n every deed...cz we cant lie to ourselves to save face or for illusionary happiness...

-----ur only obligation in any lifetime is to b true to urself.being true to anyone else or anything else is only impossible


---happiness is simply absence of sadness....


---the simpest questions are the most profound.think about these once in a while n after a while and watch ur answers change...

vandy's mantra 7...

#care shd b in ur heart nnot in words....anger shd b in words n not in heart.

#relationships are precious dnt take thm as granted.its sad but true tht the worst pain in life is whn smeone u know turns into smeone u knew.

#try to make 4 things in life----
mind which nvr minds---
-heart which nvr hurts---
touch which nvr pains-----
relation which nvr ends.....

#if a drop of water falls in lake thr is no identity but if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shine like a pearl.so choose the best place whr u wud shine.

#missing smeone whn ur alone is not affection but thinking of smeone even whn ur busy is called real affection.

#if u wait 4 happy moments u will wait forever but if u start believing tht ur happy u will b happy forever.

#big fights usually break relations but minor misunderstanding spoil relations.the fact is spolied relations are more painful thn broken ones.

#best relations dnt need any promises terms or conditions.thy jst need 2 wonderful ppl one who can trust n one who can understand

#b happy if someone is jealous of u ..coz tht means u hav something tht thy desperately want to acquire....

#hold fast to dreams n dnt ever let them die.......so make wishes on pure white clouds n dream for them to come true.....jiyo life bindass mast ..n giggle a lot..n let ur giggle drizzle happiness all around ......

2nd feburary....

It's his birthday...
he's in hurry to rush into the arms of the girl he loves
he came bursting through the door...
grabs her enthusiastically....
plants a passionate kiss....
n says,"I've a wonderful idea for celebration"
she saw him adoringly n answered.......
"drive me to the sunset...
hrough the lane of memories.."
n he was titillated......a sparkle in his eyes......
n he took her  gently into his arms
n the same breathless feeling they felt every time came 
n both knew tht thy want to spend life together
endlessly...beautifully.....
falling in love over n over again.......

वक़्त के पलों की कहानी ...

एक वक़्त गुज़र गया
और इन बीते वक़्त के पलों की कहानी ...
कुछ खोया ....कुछ पाया...
कुछ ख़ुशी...कुछ दर्द हिस्से में आया ....
कभी किसी पे गुस्सा तो कभी प्यार आया
कभी किये सब काम मनचाहे मनमस्त ...
कभी की गलती और उनसे अनुभव  आया
में न बदला ..तू भी  न बदला....
फिर कैसे सब तरफ कुछ बदलाव आया ..
छिन ली किस्मत ने प्यारा कुछ हमसे
पर साथ ही हमने  खुद को  पहचान पाया
बीत गया वो वक़्त जिसपे हमने हक़ जताया
दे गया कुछ यादें  और कुछ सीख पाया  
ज़िन्दगी की यादों में सम पाया  ...
तुझे खोया ..खुद को पाया .....

a time traveller's tale....

For a long time it had seemed to her  that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first.......something else that kept her passion wavered...kept her occupied with whirlpool of situations .....and her patience n trust n feelings on testing levels of vulnerability..pain n agony of wounded heart....with scoffed reactions in response....with emotional situation n moods..both happy and surly ones...trauma's and subconscious nightmares...some unfinished chores....and then life wud begin.....but the wait never ended....
and then one day she saw a beautiful castle in her dream..she stood befor it wanting to go inside..but a voice said,"u cant come in.."her intution tells her that she is forbidden just for the pure pleasure of saying"no" coz her soul cudnt hav dreamed to see that beautiful castle if she cud hav been forbidden to see it...she tried to b nice..to b patient..she explained that she has come a long way n its such a beautiful castle...suddenly going inside becomes the most important to her...now there seems only one alternative...to move on and see what happens ..n she found courage to bear the consequence...she moves  a step inside..nothing happens... and so she enters inside the castle...n find her answers to the quest she had been struggling with..... she felt evolved..she found the way to her destination....
sometimes the world asks us to fight for things we dont understand n whose significance we may never discover.....some things happen for which we hav no answers..and may b no questions....and we feel happy and sad both at the same time for those things...but may b these are things of a traveller's passion.....