madness...of love and life...

being a woman in man's world..
sometimes i'm mad for him..
sometimes he's mad at me...
somedays i make him mad...
sometimes i'm mad upon him...
all this madness add up to magic
to create a tradition called love....
its magical madness of life.

You hanged on and waited for her to change her mind
even if you knew that it’s not going to happen…
but a little part of you just keeps holding on.
But you know that by doing this
she is killing her as much as it’s hurting you
but she won’t admit that...
so maybe, you should be the one strong enough to walk away?

Leaving a Time...

Leaving is never easy..
But there comes a time..
Time to leave your childhood
Time to leave a broken love
Time to leave your past.....
Time to leave memories behind
Time to move on..
Even if you cant see the road ahead 
Even if you cant take a step forward
Even if you feel too alone to walk
Even if you feel too scared to dream
because sometimes............
staying back isn't an option...

time frame...

she regretted his loss of herself n her love..
she kept her patience every time sincerely by heart ,by mind..coz she always wanted to b beside hin forever..but he didnt wanted to b with her anymore..he didnt want to communicate with her coz even her voice stressed him whtever she may say.he told her tht she didnt stood by him in his difficult times..n didnt understood him at any level.n he felt bondage to the relationship....
I remember the visions of the day when he felt that he is completely in love with her.when he wanted her near always..when he wanted to do every little thing for her tht wud make her smile or giggle.now he feels tortured by her presence in his life...she is still the same girl for whom he professed his love so deeply n sweetly but now she happens to an unloved by him..he feels indifferent to her..to add insult to injury he remains incommunicado to her messages n questions...
After listening her ..i asked her,"did she try enough?.."did her love changed for him in difficult times?did she change for him?y doesnt she fight back instead of going away?y she tried to win him back after all the injuries n insults?.does she still love him?.....
She looked at me and her answer left me speechless..and thinking....
She firmly believed that time is never difficult but whn our priorities change..circumstances change n so do feelings..for our relationships..bondage is in every relationship....bondage of love n care so ur bonded to do certain things..out of love ..not by slavery...bondage to keep in touch affirms the secure soothing presence of ur loved one...coz u care for each other...
she nvr told him that patience was her forte still she learned .... but the more she kept it ..the more he tested n expected ..it isnt difficult to spare any form of communication if u really want to b a part of someone life...its not tht he doesnt hav time to communicate but its not wht he wants to do..to b in touch with her life or give her the right to b in touch with his life..so hes indifferent...and unresponsive...
u fall in luv by destiny but u fall out of love by choice..destiny jst plans n brings u closer to someone and then you carry the things forward by your choices n priorities ..how cud you know about someone's difficulties who's inaccessible?how cud you support and soothe someone who doesnt want you near and in his life?
By fighting back she may get him but thts not wht wud b right tht wud b really bondage not bonding...he had to...he has to come back on his own before time runs out for both of them.... he has to find his confidence back to call her back by himself....if he really wants to do that...cz . she tried to save this relationship every time with new energy n enthusiam but every time things collaspsed after few days coz he was nvr part of it...coz of his diversions he doesnt want her in his life...he did everything tht cud b done to hurt the relationship n her...
She knew things are over for them early on in difficult times ..but still a twinkling star far away in the sky didnt let her go hopeless for them....one day he swept her off her  feet in love and now he swept her off out of his life....so she's walking away coz staying back isnt an option..
.she doesnt regret trusting him...n sharing her life with him..however time bound it had been..and she doesnt regret or deny anything said to him in love n anger....coz being with him was neither her weakness nor a constraint ....and she's thankful for all the times and moods --shared and unshared...
And she walked away with her gaze still at her empty hands n i stood there spellbound thinking ....does luv change this way?.that can anger b so  bigger than the love so as to let your luv go out of your life??y do ppl need many attempts to start afresh? y not resolve at first attempt?y cant b things solved before relationships n feelings die?y dnt ppl understand tht u cant b stubborn  in love?...
she walked away with a dead hope in her heart for him and leaving me alone to search for answers.......
i felt her pain of being broken..
i regretted his loss of her love....
Her last words echoed in my mind as I saw her leaving looking at her open n empty hands.."you cant ever n never want to..fall out of luv with the man ..you once loved..you were with him coz he was worthy of being in your life..now tht if he's not with you ..it doesnt mean he's unworthy n undeserving ..its jst tht priorities changed..so do feelings..its jst tht now he's not with you......and the time remains framed n memories etched on the core of your soul...so tht luv gets buried deep inside you"

the truth...

truth is subjective..to a particular time frame..it is eternal but limits itself to a time frame.....it remains the same itself but changes with time..something said today is true today with today's limitations n purpose n relationships..but after a while the truth remains true... subjective to that time frame only..and with change it changes cz we come out of that time frame..we move on with our life leaving behind tht truth into our past...sometimes it gets buried forever  and sometimes it may catch up with you in future...in future it may or may not seem relevant ..it doesnt go untrue but it remains bonded to that time frame...so if you feel something today say it today..put things in words..nvr trust  someone else imagination..to know the truth in your heart n mind...if you care today ..if you love today..say it in words..nvr let ur anger or annoyance take over your feelings of love n care...coz u may not get another chance ..life may move on..time may move on..your truth may get trapped in some time frame....

ride of life..

life has been a roller coaster ride these days n she's coming to terms..with life's facts n findings n herself...
her conflicts n wishes..n solutions...and the real truth..however bitter it may seem n the walk of life ahead....

all the years of care n love gone unacknowledged..the craving of holding the little one ..the pain of being broken...the bitter reality staring her  in face...life didnt prepare her for this moment..in fact .life doesnt prepare oneself in advance for anything..nor the happiness or the pain....
She's left yearning n craving for ur loss...her little world crashed in front of her like a castle of cards coming down after painfully building upto the top but forgetting about the attack of wind..her little world crashed.....she found everything ..n thn lost everything....in one moment.....she saw a tear at the corner of her eye...she closed her eyes before she fells down...
But he saw it before tht moment and he told her tht he wud b with ever forever after..she saw a twinkle in her smile cz in her heart she always knew tht with him beside her,she will always hav the strength to accept the truth,she  nvr had an iota of doubt abt his  soothing and un-dwindling presence of him in her life.. .however all the other things in her world may go wrong...