टूटती है नीद कभी सपने नहीं टूटते ...

सब कुछ भुला रहे थे की तुम याद आ गए
खुद को भुला रहे थे की तुम याद आ गए
चलती नहीं दुनिया किसी के आने से
रूकती नहीं दुनिया किसी के जाने से
कमी तो खलती है किसी के दूर जाने से
साथ छूटने से रिश्ते नहीं छुटा करते ....
दिल रूठने से रास्ते नहीं बदला करते ...
लोग कहते है की सपना टूट गया
टूटती है नीद कभी सपने नहीं टूटते .....

शोर ........

शोर ..एक छोटा सा शब्द ..पर कितना कुछ अपने अन्दर समाहित किये हुए .....सड़क पर खेलते हुए बच्चो का शोर हमें अपने बचपन में ले जाता है ..उनके खेल का शोर ..उनकी हंसी का शोर हमें दिल से ख़ुशी  देता है....हमे सकूँ देता है ......बारिश की बूंदों का शोर...चिड़िया की चहचाहट का शोर .. हम में उमंग भर देता है .....और यही शब्द शोर  जब किसी दो लोगो के बीच की बहस का होता है तो दिल को तकलीफ देता है ...एक कटाश का शोर एक चुभुन  देता है .... रिश्तो में कडवाहट लता है .....और जब यह शोर किसी दो लोगो के बीच की चुप्पी का होता है .....तो वो  शोर आवाज़ नहीं करता पर सबसे ज्यादा दिलो में दूरी पैदा करता है ....वो शोर बेबस होता है और उस शोर को कोई आवाज़ दबा नहीं सकती ....

20th nov-a reminiscence of the day

today the day started beautifully with wishes n puja..n whole day is packed with puja's n birthday party...its jeevesh bday..n i remember this day 10 years back the day whn he was born...he was born in afternoon..n whn the doctors gave him in my arms i was exuberant with joy....but just for 5 min.....those were the 5 min whn pawan  n sandeep called few ppl to tell them abt his birth..after that doctors declared him to b critically ill. and .has to b shifted to neonatal intensive care unit for indefinite period..he was diagnosed with Peri-robin syndrome with cleft palate with multiple problms with few chances of survival n if survived ..chances of being physically or mentally challenged  n may b  not able to ever speak properly...but i cudnt listen to wht the doc was telling me at tht time..nor i was concerned ..i was holding the most beautiful baby .to my eyes he was the most beautiful baby....he was so calm n serene n tiny.. he was the bundle of joy..but soon he was shifted to NICU n we all realised wht we were told abt the prognosis..but noone in the family  lost the hope in the miracle of god...next we knew ourselves at the intensive care unit 24@7 for the next month..n soon it was in n out of emergencies for few months....everyone in the family stood togehter...inspite of lows n downs days ...he proved to b miracle baby..the family astrologer told tht he wud b vry gud at singing n the doc were skeptical of his speech but he amazed everyone with his recovery..sometimes the conditions seemed worst ...but pawan always said that nothing wud go wrong he was so confident..he had a strong faith..he was in luv with the baby instantly n me too..everyone in the family luved him ..dad n mom  named him jeevesh..jeev + ish...thts is ishwar..the one who belonged n survived with his grace..me n pawan use to stay up all nights while at NICU n sandeep n manorma visited numerous times throught the day..monorma face shined whnever she held the tiny baby in her arms...pooja too luved n cared ..she played a gr8 role in teaching him the vocabulary..she took care of him whn we all went to wrk..she played with him fed him..helped mom to take care of him...she wasnt jst his bua but cared with motherly touch...
all day he wud b taught vocabulary..he started learning young .whnever any of us came home he wud b asked same questions..tht wud make all the things repated 7 times..b it body parts or alphabets..or veggie names...anything....may b earlier thm normal kids..he learned the body parts n cud understand the alphabets n started speaking one wrd syllabus..he called me ba from bhabi wht sandeep n puja cld me n pawan be from beer..he started saying wrds after his cleft palate surgery at 2+..but bfr tht he showed the signs of his intelluct..n by four he cud recite hanuman chalisa  n he knew the gayatri mantra n mahamrityunja mantra in sankrit he cud recite all of thm ...he learned thm by listening..at home..he cud sing bhajan n all of tv ad's with music effects of ting ding dong etc...
the normal healthier kids of my cousins seemed obese to me as compared to thm n he looked beautiful to my eyes ..jst perfect..after many years whn i saw his pic wht he was bfr his surgery..i was filled with tears at the all nasal catethers he needed to put upto his stomach to b fed...he was tube fed through syringes..n whn he started moving his arms at 4-5 months ..the tubes irritated him n he wud pull thm out n some days nasal catheter tht was put upto his stomach through his nose... were put in 6 times a day with taped on ..on his forehead....n thn he needed to hav suction through suction machine every 2-3 hours to clear his mouth of all the fliud tht got accumulated ..n tht wud block his airways....it was all so scary but he overcame everything....n he filled with joy at his first laughter..his first words..everything..
today its his bday he sings beautifully..wants to learn n own my guitar...has a taste in painting n wants to make ones like me..hes intelligent ..non fussy mini adult vry senisitve n mature ..n has a high intelluect levels...n even the doc at the PGI  were amazed..he's a subject-a cute adorable subject of thm n thy keep wondering at hw much he talks non stop....luv u my sunshine u hav given me n pawan joy n sunshine n we luv u .

BRAVE BEYONG BELIEF.....dedicated to a brave yet smiling ppl

Today while watching the  new promos on the day of release of  movie guzzarish im intrigued to watch the movie..the movie seems to b multi faceted.....it seems a movie about life with a spinal injury n the silent luv relationship between the pair n the will of the protagonist to pass on his legacy and  the beautiful visions of a life whom we may consider crippled or less fortunate but god has his own magic within these kind of ppl..they may seem less ordinary to us normal ppl but they are god's special children...the movie seem to b also abt the right to one's own life..the mercy killing ...EUTHANASIA...n i felt every intelligent mind wud want to see the movie..it wnt b a masala movie...but an intelligent movie...as far as the subjects of the movie go ...it cudnt b anything less than that...BRAVE BEYONG BELIEF....
From the previous promos tht i hav seen on TV it was very much clear tht the movie is abt life with a spinal injury n i thought may b the lead protagonist stars as a renowned magician who gets hurts in some accident n thn its the story abt his life with a spinal injury n i felt tht it wud b too teary n emotional n i wnt b able to watch the movie without crying....n even now i can say the movie will evoke tears in everyone eyes who will watch it with a sensitive heart...coz. life with a spinal injury is too difficult .
... .i pray to god tht he gives everyone will n power to do whtever poosible n as long as we can do for ppl with spinal injuries.. if we encounter ......i salute ppl who care for thr loved ones with spinal injuries for courage n for smile..n for faith..n love n care...
may god bless ppl with spinal injury with moments of happiness...n normal life 

एक तारा...............

दूर आसमान में टिमटिमाता हुआ एक तारा
टूटने की कगार पे और फिर भी समभाले हुए
कुछ स्वप्न और खाविश्ये और एक आशा
मेरी आँखों  में निहारती एक उम्मीद ...
उस तारे के भविष्य का अंजाम .....
एक इच्छा...और एक गुज़ारिश ....
उस तारे की मुस्करहट के लिए...

GIVING BACK....... ....

While giving alums to a handicapped beggar at a traffic lights ..i thought y did god made beggars?i felt so bad abt ppl who are less fortunate in matters of money …pawan has always taught me to give maximum....to needy...b it at ashrams or housemaids or on the street if someone asks for alums..he's says its isnt imp hw little u give..its hw much u feel the inner urge ..hw much u realize the toughness of less fortunate...i hav picked ths habit from pawan .. of giving a little to someone everyday at any traffic light..during my drives throught the day....

 I thought of many theories..i thought in context of incarnation..may b these are the ppl who had loads of everything .in the previous birth…..but thy nvr gave anything to anyone..so god decided tht nw thy hav to realize the importance of not having ..or importance of the time whn thy had everything n thy didn’t give it back to ppl n nature…as for nature like feeding birds  n planting more saplings……whn thy didn’t help ..or they refused if someone asked from thm something they had in abundance….nw he decided for them to beg for food money n clothes…

I thought of hw many beggars we hav in the country..n y cant government eliminate beggars ..one day  pawan was reading  a msg to me abt the millions of money (appox 280 crores )of our country kept in swiss bank..he says tht its so much of money that we can hav tax free system for 30 yrs n Every Citizen can Get Monthly 2000/- For 60 Years. We wnt need world bank loans… n today I thought thn y hav these ppl blocked ths much money…..n wht will happen whn thy will b reborn….will thr fate will b ths..as I saw today?

N on the remaining way of my drive I thought tht pawan is right that we all shd b bit more generous..nvr refuse anyone if u can give.. n nvr say tht u hav nothing ..or u hav less…god may mind ur words n take back whtever he gave u in abundance..

Give generously to ppl..to a needy human…...it may b a stranger in the street or someone among the relative who hav less thm wht u hav…n always thnk god for whtever he has given u..n nvr say no for anything tht u hav….n u can give…

Feed birds… plant saplings …care for trees…water the plants… feed fishes n ants…n do take time to smell flowers n watch butterflies..its about the regard n respect n admiration of nature ..that god made for us humans….

N thank god for everything every moment of life that he beautifully crafted for us……

Cherrs…god bless all….

एहसास........

 तुझे भुला के भी आँखों की क्यूँ  नमी जाती नहीं
तेरा प्यार भुला के भी क्यूँ नफरत पनपती नहीं
कई बार चाहा की तुझे बुला लूँ या भुला दूँ
तेरा यह एहसास क्यूँ मेरे दिल से मिटता नहीं

यह रिश्ता एक एहसास है तेरे और मेरे बीच.......
पर फिर क्यूँ इसकी ख़ुशी तेरी आँखों में झलकती नहीं
क्यूँ इसकी टूटने की तकलीफ तेरे दिल तक पहुँचती नहीं ....
कई बार चाहा की तुझे आवाज़ दे कर वापिस बुला लूँ ...
पर क्यूँ मेरी आवाज़ तेरे दिल तक पहुँचती नहीं ...

कई बार चाहा की तुझे भुला दूँ ...
पर क्यूँ मेरे दिल का शोर थमता नहीं ..
क्यूँ तेरे साथ बिताये पल भूलते नहीं ..
क्यूँ यह अँधेरा छंटता नहीं ...
क्यूँ तेरा एहसास मेरे दिल से मिटता नहीं ....